Measuring your success is an essential aspect of your personal and professional growth. And you, as social beings, have developed a measuring system based on certain factors. But who told you that your system is accurate?
We measure our success in many ways, depending on our goals and values. We can set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals and track our progress towards achieving them. This can help us see how far we’ve come and give us a sense of accomplishment when we reach our goals. Besides, reflecting on our values and priorities also helps measure our progress. It makes us consider whether our actions align with them or not. If we follow our values and preferences, we may feel more fulfilled and successful. Seeking feedback from others, including friends, family, mentors, and colleagues, is critical. Other people can offer valuable perspectives on your progress and achievements. And most importantly, we should pay attention to our personal growth and development.
Are you learning new things, taking on new challenges, and expanding your horizons? These things can all be indicators of success. However, success is subjective and will mean different things to different people. It’s natural to care about what others think of us, and it’s normal to want to be liked and respected by those around us. However, it’s essential to recognise that our self-worth should not depend entirely on the opinions of others. Defining what success means to you and assessing whether you are achieving it regularly is essential.
How self-worth gets formed
Interestingly, often, our self-worth might depend on the opinions of others. We may be seeking validation or approval from others. We may want to be liked, respected, or admired by others and see their opinions as a reflection of our worth or value. We may be lacking self-confidence. If we don’t feel good about ourselves, we may be more likely to seek validation from others and base our self-worth on their opinions.
Societal norms and expectations may influence us. There may be certain expectations or standards that we need to live up to be considered successful or valuable. It’s essential to recognise that our self-worth should not depend entirely on the opinions of others. It’s okay to care about what others think, but it’s also essential to cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and self-acceptance. This can come from setting and achieving personal goals, practising self-care, and surrounding yourself with supportive and positive people.
But wait, what does self-worth involve?
Self-worth is a person’s sense of their value or worth as a human being. It’s an essential aspect of mental and emotional health, affecting how we see ourselves and interact with the world around us. Self-worth is not the same as self-esteem, which is more about how we see ourselves concerning others. Self-worth is about how we value ourselves, regardless of how others see us.
Having a healthy sense of self-worth means accepting yourself, flaws and all, and believing that you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. It means you can set boundaries and care for your own needs. It also means that you can recognise and pursue your goals and passions rather than seek validation or approval from others. Developing a healthy sense of self-worth can take time and effort, but it is crucial to building a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Adverse effects of comparing yourself with others
Comparing your success to others can be tempting, but it can also harm your well-being and self-esteem. The first reason to avoid comparing your success to others is that comparison can lead to negative emotions. Seeing someone else’s achievements can make you feel inadequate or like you’re falling behind. This can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, or even jealousy.
Comparison is often not an accurate or fair measure. You don’t know what someone else’s journey has been like or what challenges they may have faced. Comparing yourself to others ignores the unique circumstances of each person’s life. Comparison can distract from your own goals and progress. You may lose sight of your goals and achievements if you constantly compare yourself to others. You may also be less motivated to work towards your goals if you continuously focus on what others do. Comparison can be damaging to relationships.
Competing with others or feeling jealous of their successes can strain friendships and other relationships. Instead of comparing yourself to others, try focusing on your goals and progress. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that everyone’s journey is different; what works for someone else may not work for you.
Never measure your success using someone else’s ruler
You should not compare your achievements and progress to those of others. Each person’s journey is unique and has its challenges and circumstances. What may be a success for one person may not be a success for another. Using someone else’s ruler to measure your success means using their standards and expectations as a benchmark for your progress. This can be problematic because it ignores the fact that everyone’s circumstances and goals are different. It can also lead to negative emotions, such as frustration or jealousy, if you do not measure up to others.
Instead of using someone else’s ruler to measure your success, defining your own goals and standards is essential. Focus on your progress and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Again, remember that your journey and path to success are unique; what works for someone else may not work for you.